Review: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE

The trailer has been watched by more than 5 million people and word quickly spread that this was going to be one of the most twisted horror films ever made. Stories began surfacing that, during early screenings, people were vomiting in the cinema aisles and walking out in disgust. So, is The Human Centipede really as horrific as the hype would have you believe or is it just another crap horror film?

The movie centres around Dr Heiter (Dieter Laser), a highly respected German surgeon, who's had a break from reality and now lives as a recluse in his country mansion.  Having spent years specialising in the separation of conjoined twins, he now wants to produce his own conjoined creation.  Having successfully attempted this operation using his dogs, he is now ready to begin human trials.  After carefully selecting his victims and with a bit of good fortune, he begins work on his ultimate design, the human centipede.

The first twenty minutes of the film are so frustrating, I actually found it more offensive than the human centipede creation.  Seriously, I realise it's going to be tricky finding two good actresses that are happy to have their mouths attached to another person's anus for the majority of a film, but these two female leads were terrible.  To be fair, the script wasn't cutting them any slack, with the opening scenes playing out like a GCSE drama improvisation. Two girls in a foreign country get lost on a country road in the middle of the night, the car gets a puncture, there's no phone signal, it starts to rain and they look for help by walking through the woods. For crying out loud, I actually struggled to find a cliche that hadn't made it into the script. I realise that people aren't going to watch this movie for its acting credentials or its indepth plot, but at the end of the day, you have to hook the audience from the beginning, otherwise they're going to lose interest.

However, as soon as the girls arrive at the Dr's home the film really starts to get going, and strangely, as they become more terrified, the girls acting actually improves. Go figure! The trouble is, by this point, you've been so annoyed by their characters, you don't really care about what's going to happen to them.  Dr Hieter is clearly a disturbed man. From the second he opened the door, you didn't need a psychology degree to recognise he was clearly mental or at the very least creepy as hell. Sadly, it seemed no-one in the film was aware of this and there were many times when I was left thinking, "...if you're going to be that stupid, you deserve all you get". Harsh I know, but when you see the film you'll realise what I'm saying.    

What surprised me about this movie was how little there was in the way of gratuitous violence and all out gore.  Some teeth get pulled out, there are a few scalpel cuts and a throat slitting, but other than that there isn't much to write home about.  The pure gross out element only comes after they've been surgically linked together 'mouth to arse' and the human centipede has been created.  This is when you may need a sick bag.  It's not gory, it's just plain revolting.  It's the idea of, not just being stitched to someones anus, but also eating their excrement, that is truling disgusting and the film makes sure you have a chance to really appreciate how horrible that is.  All I'm saying is, you do not want to be in the middle!

If you can make it through that part though, you soon become immune to the whole centipede thing and start being more concerned about how they are going to escape this whole situation.  At this stage, you suddenly begin to care about these people as they make a doomed attempt to escape the lair of the psychopathic doctor via a spiral staircase.

I cannot decide whether this film takes itself seriously or not.  There were points when I just wanted to laugh out loud and others that were genuinely disturbing.  People were laughing throughout the screening, but I think sometimes it was nervous laughter rather than anything else.  This isn't a good film. It isn't really a horror film either. It's a sick, disgusting, messed up movie that will appeal to anyone who likes to be grossed out or to teenage boys who'll think they're hard because they managed to sit through it without throwing up.
The film doesn't have any real plot or back story for the characters which makes it very one dimensional. I mean c'mon, even Freddy Krueger had a back story. The fact is that writer/director Tom Six based this film on one weird concept, but failed to develop it into a genuinely frightening horror film.

Michael's Movie Mark       3/10