Review: THE EXPENDABLES

When I first heard that Sylvester Stallone was putting together the most awesome cast of action stars ever, for a film packed with hardcore violence like Rambo and Commando, I began getting very excited. Then reality kicked in and I started worrying that this was going to be one of those films that sounded great on paper, but was always going to be a terrible movie. I was wrong.

The plot is tricky, so try and keep up. A team of 'too old for this shit' mercenaries are hired to assasinate a South American dictator. The End. Let's be honest though, you don't go to watch a film like this for its plot and character development.  You just want to see stuff getting blown up, car chases and a whole load of people getting killed in creative ways. This film delivers...and then some! 

As the poster at the top of this review shows, it's Stallone (Barney Ross), Jason Statham (Lee Christmas) and Jet Li (Ying Yang) that the film focuses on the most, with everyone else being left with a few moments of screen time.  I'm not going to go into too much detail about each of the action stars roles in the film, but I will tell you to look out for Statham's fantastic revenge attack on the basketball court and any scene involving Dolph Lundgren.  Seriously, this is his best work for ages and possibly his best performance ever...except Showdown in Little Tokyo (loved that film).

  

The three people I was most hyped up about seeing on screen together were old pals Stallone, Bruce Willis and Governor Schwarzenegger. It blew my mind when I saw them in the trailer. Afterall, that was some coup getting Arnie back in the movies (not including his CGI return in Terminator: Salvation). It turned out, this scene was right near the beginning of the film, which was good for two reasons: one - I didn't have to wait long to see it, and two - I had the rest of the film to forget about how bad it was! Bruce and Sly were great, but Arnie...wow, he looked every bit his 63 years, as he limped his way awkwardly into the scene said a few lines and left.  Look, there's no denying Arnie is a legend, but this wasn't how I wanted to remember him on the big screen and a small part of me wished he hadn't agreed to do it. He did get a ribbing from the others in the scene about 'letting himself go' and 'wanting to be President', but overall this part didn't really work for me and felt out of place.

Stallone co-wrote and directed this film, and his almost 30 years experience working on hardcore action films has clearly paid off. The fight sequences in particular were well choreographed, shot and cut together. They were over the top and excessive (with the help of some CGI blood), but somehow still felt raw and believable.  Also, they weren't afraid to blow things up, including people, whether they needed blowing up or not.  In fact, at one point I felt like I couldn't take anymore explosions or 'cannon fodder' enemy soldiers being killed or my brain might implode. 

Unfortunately, these moments are so big and intense that when they've finished, I started feeling a bit bored, desperately waiting for something to actually happen. The emotional sub-plot is paper thin and triggered by Mickey Rourke's monologue about not saving a suicidal woman on a bridge or something.  Don't let this bother you though, because according to this movie, in order to save one person, you must first kill hundreds of others. Brilliant.

I need to point out at this stage, that Sylvester Stallone is 64 years old!  The man must be super-human. He's in amazing shape and even though I'm sure his stunt double was kept very busy, some of the things he does himself in this film are incredible. How he didn't end up seriously injured or dead is beyond me.  The insurance alone must have been half the movie's budget.

The Expendables is an entertaining, testosterone fuelled, rollercoaster ride of a film, that doesn't take itself seriously at all.  I liked it, but I didn't love it.  It has too many flaws, but who cares if you're only paying to see some old school action stars bust some heads?  This is definitely 'one for the boys' or for girls who like their men to be men.  No moisturiser, manicures or eyebrow plucking here folks, just blood, bullets and bombs.

Michael's Movie Mark       6.5/10

That's what I think, but please feel free to let me know your thoughts by commenting below.